The simple ten letter word that makes or breaks our life. As a kid when I was growing up ‘making friends’ was never a concept, you were automatically each other’s friend. You would play, fight and play again and there won’t be any complaints. Life moved on you grew up fantasizing that life is indeed going to be like ‘Dil Chata Hai’ or ‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara.’
You thought you will be making those fantastic trips to Goa or some international destination and will have time of your life. But then reality happens and your friends are merely a name on your phonebook that you might be dialing occasionally to wish special days or if you need something.
I have struggled to make friends for many reasons some of which is that fact I have moved to so many places that none of the addresses in any of my documents ever matches. My personality at times is intimidating to people and also that I fall into the category of being “ambivert”. Every time I changed places I had hope now I will have a group of friends who will be willingly making plans and with whom I will be able to enjoy coffee at my favorite Tim Hortons. These kinds of things never really became true for me.
The more you grow up the more you realize that the quality of friends that you make during your work life is merely friendship that exists in your life but does not matter. It is like that chair in your house which you know exist and you keep putting a pile of stuff on it but you never really sit on it. The more meaning you try to find in such friendships the more empty it looks.
Having to deal with such things became regular for me especially having to deal with two kinds of life where the one in which I live like an ex-pat, where people are there in your life till the time their visa is valid or if you are conveniently located around each other’s vicinity.The second kind of life where I am a foreigner in my own country where the duration my friends filled time is limited to the number of holidays I have been granted by my employer. I miss, I miss the real friendship, the one where laughs are genuine, the one where you are not afraid to lose each other. The one where your existence in world matters.
I have often found questioning myself that, “Am I, not a good friend that I dont have much of them in my life?” because my soul knows I am one person that you can duly rely on and yet I struggle to have people in my life just to make plans with. I am not sure how many of you are going through the same thing in life and you are trying to find the meaning of your life worthiness with the number of friends that you can count!
Let me tell you, it’s not worth it because its not the number but the quality that matters. You need that one, two or three friends in your life who is there and are concerned about you. Who might be worried for not being in touch with you, who can put their ego aside, who can be available for you in the middle of the night, who is there for you when you are sad, who is there for you when you want to cry, who is there for you to support your love story every time you fall in love with the wrong one.
Friends are needed in life but make sure you have one that matters. The one whose missed call will make you return their call and not like he will call back if needed. Friends that are there for you on all your occasion while you make an effort to be in theirs. Friends that can sense your voice and can understand the pain behind it while you try to their sadness away as well. Friends who will care to pack one extra piece of sandwich for you just because they know you dont like to cook. Friendship is give and take, its an effort. It is an effort to make a lifelong relationship with a person who will be there for you with many ups and downs of your life while you equally make efforts to be there for them. It is like another family you are building up for your future to share your ups and down with, a future friendship for your kids with their kids.
Build something that will last long. The friendship with deep meaning. Build those lifelong memories that is just not for Instagram but the ones that add a hundred grams of a smile on your face.
I know being alone sucks but feeling lonely in the room full of people is much worse. So hang in there and you know why because sometimes having one friend is enough. That one friend who understands you loves you and will do anything for you. The one that you are growing old with maybe in a different country and yet you know things will be alright because you have them in life. I know cause I have that matters the most. And I know if he is reading this post of mine, its Him I am talking about.
Leave your comment if you relate to the thoughts expressed above.